Being a person who didn't receive a bakkifull of red roses from the Jesus-adjacent prophet called Ye on Valentine’s Day, I can't say what that moment would have actually felt like. But I can try to put myself in Kim Kardashian’s shoes.

I imagine it felt more like Deliverance than your usual DHL delivery. I mean, this situation unfolding in the driveway somewhere in Calabasas, California, was a logistical nightmare — where do you put the bakkieload of roses?..